


Matteo goes to David's apartment

by Ruunya



Category: Druck | SKAM (Germany), SKAM (TV) RPF
Genre: Angst and Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Romance, Transgender
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-04-30
Updated: 2019-04-30
Packaged: 2020-02-10 06:48:08
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,565
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18655120
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Ruunya/pseuds/Ruunya
Summary: After David comes out to Matteo as trans, Matteo takes a day to process and then heads over to David's apartment to tell him how he feels. "He didn’t want to fuck this up, to say the wrong thing, to hurt David anymore than his silence could."





	Matteo goes to David's apartment

Matteo knew he should have reached out earlier. He knew the past couple of days must have dragged for David. Must have caused him pain.

It hurt Matteo to think about it. But he hadn’t managed to find his voice until today. He hadn’t spoken to anyone. Hans and Mia had both knocked on his door a few times, and he had seen the group chat from the guys.

But his brain had been so loud and he was trying not to rely on weed anymore to calm him down, so it was taking him longer to process things.

The thing was that he didn’t have the words until now. He didn’t want to fuck this up, to say the wrong thing, to hurt David anymore than his silence could.

Once the words had come to him, he had immediately grabbed his keys and his shoes and left the flat. Matteo needed to speak to David. To tell him how he felt.

His nerves never left him as he strode towards David’s apartment. He was right around the corner now. Matteo could feel the pinpricks of anxiety creeping up his arms. But he also felt a reassuring certainty that right now, in this moment, he knew how he felt. He knew what David meant to him.

Matteo arrived outside David’s building, the lock on the front door was broken and hung on its hinges. He pushed inside and made his way up the two flights of stairs. With every step, the pinpricks of anxiety grew sharper. He was starting to feel dizzy and nauseous.

What if David had changed his mind? What if Matteo had taken too long to respond? What if David closed the door on him?

Matteo hummed under his breath, trying to drown out the pressing thoughts.

He was at David’s apartment door now. Matteo could feel himself swaying. It was now or never. Any longer and it might be too late.

Matteo reached forward and pushed the buzzer. The tiny buzz felt like an electric shock. His whole body was in a heightened state. He felt like he was walking on stilts. It took all his focus and willpower to stay upright.

He heard the quiet shuffle of footsteps. Several bolts were slid aside and the door inched open.

It was Laura. She was in her pyjamas and looked surprised to see him. A hint of curiosity flashed over her face and then her expression was taken over by concern.

She gave Matteo a cautious look, assessing him. Then glanced over her shoulder as if to ensure they were alone.

“Matteo, David’s in a bad place right now. I know you two talked. I know he told you… But,” she shook her head, “if you’re here to make him feel worse, or - or… hurt him in any way… then I think you should leave.”

Laura wasn’t tall by any means and she didn’t look very strong, but she was giving Matteo a look that said she would take him down if he ever hurt her brother.

Matteo stood there confused. The fear and defiance on Laura’s face was so alive and tangible. This wasn’t simply a sister standing up for her brother, afraid that his heart would get broken. No, this was a fear born of experience - born from a real threat of violence.

The realisation made Matteo’s stomach turn. Had someone threatened David in the past? Had someone tried to hurt him?… Had they succeeded?

Cautiously, Matteo took a step forward and locked eyes with Laura. He hoped she could see the honesty and vulnerability in his face.

“Laura, I would never hurt David. I know I should’ve come earlier. But my head… I just… I know what I need to say now.” He noticed Laura’s face soften, almost imperceptibly, as he continued “David needs to hear this. I need to - to tell him how I feel… about him.”

Matteo hoped the softness of his voice, and the desperation in his eyes, would be enough to convince Laura that he hadn’t come here to cause David any more pain.

She chewed her bottom lip and looked him over once more. Slowly she nodded and took a step backwards into the flat.

“Stay here, I’ll go get him.” Matteo could still see the fear lingering in her eyes as she turned to walk towards a door at the far end of the apartment. He watched her knock tentatively and call out David’s name. Matteo didn’t hear a response but Laura must have, she pushed open the door and talked quietly into the room.

After a few moments Laura pulled back and gave Matteo one last look before she disappeared into a room at the other end of the hall.

Matteo hadn’t realised how much his head had become to spin, he reached out to the door frame and tried to gain his balance. Moments went by, it felt like centuries to Matteo but he knew it had only been four or five seconds.

He stared intently at the door that Laura had left ajar. It began to open further and Matteo held his breath as David crept out of his room.

Their eyes met across the hall and Matteo could see that David’s eyes were red and swollen. His hair was flatter than normal, as if he had been laying down for a long time. David only maintained eye contact for a moment before looking back down at the ground.

Matteo felt his stomach ache and he feared that David was sick at the sight of him. Maybe this was a stupid idea? Maybe he had no idea what he was doing.

Matteo hummed slightly under his breath, as if by reflex. David glanced up, confused. He seemed to realise that Matteo didn’t look too well. He looked back down at the floor and chewed his lip, mirroring Laura’s expression from earlier. Matteo could see David debating something and then after a moment he began making his way across the hall to where Matteo was standing, still on the periphery of the apartment.

Matteo searched for David’s eyes, waiting for the moment that David would look up into his.

After a breath, David forced his eyes from the floor and met Matteo’s. What Matteo saw in David’s eyes shocked him - there was so much fear and sadness. But he also saw a hint of hope, it grew stronger as Matteo took a step towards him.

“David, I’m sorry,” Matteo could feel his eyes begin to sting already, “I should’ve come earlier, I should’ve messaged you… I - I’m sorry.”

David held his gaze. Matteo could see David’s hand twitch forward slightly as if reaching for Matteo’s hand, but he stopped himself and pulled it back.

“David, I didn’t come earlier because my head - it’s been so loud, and I’ve been trying to process and it’s just take a lot longer than usual.” A glimmer of understanding seemed to pass over David’s face. Matteo pressed on, “It’s just that I wanted… I wanted to have the right words to say to you. I didn’t want to say the wrong thing. I don’t know much about… about what you told me. But what I do know - is how I feel about you.”

David’s lips parted slightly, his eyes beginning to water.

Matteo was swaying harder than ever, he was still holding tightly to the door frame throughout his short speech.

He bit his lip and let go of the frame, tentatively putting his hand out towards David’s. David looked down as Matteo’s hand grew closer and after a heartbeat, he reached out to meet it.

Matteo exhaled loudly. Had he been holding his breath this whole time? David let out a breath a moment later and then his lips quirked upwards. He seemed to consider something, and then smiled the most beautiful smile Matteo had ever seen. “I guess I can hold my breath longer than you.”

In one moment the pinpricks in Matteo’s skin disappeared, his swaying stopped, and his mind hushed into the most soothing quiet. All because of David.

He leaned forward, almost catching David by surprise. He paused for a moment to make sure David was okay but David was already pushing forward, their lips met sharply. They had both needed this so badly.

Matteo’s arms curled around David’s waist and David reached up to run his hands through Matteo’s hair. After a few moments they both pulled back and rested their foreheads together.

A weight seemed to lift off David’s shoulders as he braced himself against Matteo.

Matteo’s lips curled into a grin that he tried to bite back, but David was too quick to notice. “What is it?

Matteo thought for a moment and then quietly replied "I didn’t get to say what I came here to say…”

David paused for a moment, a little confused, there was more? “What did you want to say?”

Matteo blushed, his cheeks blossoming with colour. “It’s just that… I realised…” He trailed off.

David raised his eyebrows, “Matteo…” He nudged him gently.

Matteo took a deep breath and brought his hands up to rest on either side of David’s face.

He looked David in the eyes and said with the most certainty that he had ever felt in his life - “I realised that you, David, are the man of my life.”


End file.
